Am I Giving Up??

Wow...my last entry is on 6th June 2013. Almost a year I didn't write anything on this blog.

Apa yang aku dah achieve dalam tempoh setahun ni

1. Aku masih kat sini...bertahan...selagi yang boleh. Tapi aku takut aku akan jadi orang lain...bukan aku yang dulu. Tuhan...tolong aku...
2. I got a couple of shocking news...one of my staff...diagnosed with cancer....while another one diagnosed with tibi. Semoga Allah beri kesembuhan pada mereka berdua...dan semoga dipermudahkan urusan.
3. My colleague...dapat offer sambung belajar. I wish you all the best...semoga...dapat gunakan ilmu dan pengalaman untuk manfaat diri dan orang lain.
4. Aku adalah orang yang keempat mengalami keguguran kat ofis aku.the first one is on Dis 2013, 2nd and 3rd person is around Jan-Feb 2014. Dan aku...end of March 2014. I've got a lot of plan actually during my fourth pregnancy...and I'm quite sad and frustrated...tapi... sesungguhnya Allah itu sebaik baik perancang.

There's a lot of things going on actually...but none of it relates to what I really2 hope and want...

And the hardest thing is I've started to think whether to giving up my career and just be like an ordinary housewife. Well...being a housewife for me is not ordinary. Just like what my mom did to me and my other six siblings. It's just amazing....full of love and memories that will be mesmerise us forever till the end of life.

One of the things that I remembered most is the smell of her cookings and the beautiful smile of her whenever we got back home from school...
These...are the things that I can hardly give to my three lovely son.

May God give me guidance and strength to choose the best path for me, my husband and children as well as my ad-deen.