Monday 19 May 2014

Hope


ESPERANZA

Esperanza, donde vas

ocultando tu mirada
de tristeza abandonada
en la soledad
Esperanza, creeme
yo no quise hacerte mal.
te suplico me comprendas
si te defraude.
Esperanza te aseguro
que sin ti hoy nada tengo,
que seras por siempre el angel
de mis suenos.
Aqui estoy, ya me ves,
suplicandote perdon.
si en verdad te falle,
no fue esa mi intencion.
culpame y entierrame
en el pecho tu dolor,
pero no te vayas nunca,
no me ignores, por favor.
Que dificil descubrir
el vacio en tu mirar
donde ardia aquel incendio
sobrenatural.
Escondida en un rincon
con el mundo del reves,
y que todo sea culpa
de mi estupidez.
Aqui estoy, ya me ves,
suplicandote perdon.
si en verdad te falle,
no fue esa mi intencion.
culpame y entierrame
en el pecho tu dolor,
pero no te vayas nunca,
no me ignores, por favor.
Aqui estoy, ya me ves,
suplicandote perdon.
si en verdad te falle,
no fue esa mi intencion.
culpame y entierrame
en el pecho tu dolor,
pero no te vayas nunca,
no me ignores, por favor


One of my favorite song when i was a teenager....and still is one of my favorite song today...
But now..the esperanza seems like slipping away....
Hope, trust me
I would not harm you
I beg you to understand me
if you disappointed.
Hope, where are you...


Saturday 17 May 2014

Am I Giving Up??

Wow...my last entry is on 6th June 2013. Almost a year I didn't write anything on this blog.

Apa yang aku dah achieve dalam tempoh setahun ni
  1. Aku masih kat sini...bertahan...selagi yang boleh. Tapi aku takut aku akan jadi orang lain...bukan aku yang dulu. Tuhan...tolong aku...
  2. I got a couple of shocking news...one of my staff...diagnosed with cancer....while another one diagnosed with tibi. Semoga Allah beri kesembuhan pada mereka berdua...dan semoga dipermudahkan urusan.
  3. My colleague...dapat offer sambung belajar. I wish you all the best...semoga...dapat gunakan ilmu dan pengalaman untuk manfaat diri dan orang lain.
  4. Aku adalah orang yang keempat mengalami keguguran kat ofis aku.the first one is on Dis 2013, 2nd and 3rd person is around Jan-Feb 2014. Dan aku...end of March 2014. I've got a lot of plan actually during my fourth pregnancy...and I'm quite sad and frustrated...tapi... sesungguhnya Allah itu sebaik baik perancang.
There's a lot of things going on actually...but none of it relates to what I really2 hope and want...

And the hardest thing is I've started to think whether to giving up my career and just be like an ordinary housewife. Well...being a housewife for me is not ordinary. Just like what my mom did to me and my other six siblings. It's just amazing....full of love and memories that will be mesmerise us forever till the end of life.

One of the things that I remembered most is the smell of her cookings and the beautiful smile of her whenever we got back home from school...
These...are the things that I can hardly give to my three lovely son.

May God give me guidance and strength to choose the best path for me, my husband and children as well as my ad-deen.